The reality of the Dream … 9 months later

Well hello there old friend…and by old friend I can only assume I’m talking to myself because after over a year of radio silence on the blog it’s possible that I’m the only one still here. Okay, maybe my mom. Hi mom. šŸ™‚

It feels like forever since I’ve written anything or even checked in (nearly 13Ā months to be exact). Ā A whole lot has happened in our lives since my last post. For starters – after 3 long years on this journey, we finally moved in to the Dreamhouse.

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And I know I you’re probably expecting me to gush about how happy & excited we all are to be enjoying the fruits of our labour, but here’s the thing – real lifeĀ after a renovationĀ doesn’t always play out the way dreams do.

Don’t get me wrong. We do love our house, and it’s great to finally be moved in. But I must admit that at first, living the reality of our dream felt very bitter sweet.

The Dreamhouse

You see, the move was very tough on Kash. As adults it’s easy to get caught up & swept along in the reno – so much so that you forget to think about what might happen once the initial excitement of the “shiny new house” fades into what that really means for a kid – new school, new routine, having to make new friends, no longer living with or seeing his Nana & Poppa everyday – for us, the reality was very overwhelming. Ā For a 6 year old I can only imagine that must have felt like his whole world was turned upside down virtually overnight.

For Kes and I it was tough. Tough to know that he was hurting & stressful dealing with the behavioral outbursts that came along with that. Suddenly our smiling, happy-go-lucky kid had turned into a very angry, frustrated little guy who’s mood swings would make our heads spin. We’d get updates from his teacher & not recognize the child she was describing. I felt like we’d broken him.

And I felt torn.

On the one hand we’ve got this big beautiful house that we worked so hard for, and then on the other hand, you feel like it’s the cause of so much stress and anguish. For me as a mother, it’s been particularly hard to feel fully happy about it & proud of all we’ve accomplished.

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As a blogger it made writing about it all feel very empty.

And so Kes & I took some time off.

We took time away from the constant stream of DIY projects & the self imposed pressure to document it all. Time to recover both financially & emotionally. Time to put our son first to help him heal emotionally and deal with the huge transition he’d just gone through; time to get some perspective. Time to just be.

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Having come out the other side I can say with confidence that what doesn’t break you, only makes you stronger. And as cliche as that might sound, you only realize once you’ve lived it, just how true that sentiment is.

That said, we’re still working through things as a family – and it’s interesting to see how much we learn about ourselves through our son. But I felt like it was time I shared a bit of insight into what our lives have been like “inside the dream”.

In a world where we so often get consumed with the the cosmetic lives of others, as seen through perfectly styled homes & captured one moment at a time on social media, I wanted be a reminder, however small, that real life isn’t always what it seems in photos. At times it’s more beautiful, but it’s also messy, it’s hard, it’s ever-changing, it’s real, and mostly perfectly imperfect.

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I know thisĀ sounds like things are coming to an end, and in some ways they are. Ā (Not to worry, we’re not going anywhere…)Ā  For us, this just feels like the closing of the firstĀ chapter of our story. And it’s fitting because we’ve essentially come to the end of our journey to build aĀ Dreamhouse.

And now we get to turn it intoĀ ourĀ DreamĀ HOME.

Stay tuned…

13 thoughts on “The reality of the Dream … 9 months later

  1. Love this! Nearly brought me to tears! Your home is beautiful and in time you will make it your own but I’m so glad you took time out as a family. You guys are so resilient and I love watching you work through challenges together- the way family is supposed to! A true testament to the love and commitment that’s required to make it work! šŸ˜‰ Love you guys and look forward to creating many memories at the Dreamhouse!

  2. I am so proud of the two of you and how you’ve come together as a family. I know things are getting better with Kashee and we missed having him with us too, but I know he enjoys my pick ups on Fridays and spending the Saturdays with us .Love, Mum & Dad

  3. You’ve certainly been through a lot this past year! It takes guts to open up like this – thank you for sharing and trusting us with your story, and know that within the blogging community we’ve got your back. šŸ™‚

  4. Welcome back!
    I know every family, and every child, is different, but if it helps… I was a military kid and moved every two years all my life. I would never say moving was easy. It was hard, sometimes VERY hard, but the one thing that got me through it is the quality I see shining through your post… we loved each other strongly and clearly and without limits. I knew my parents would always be there for me no matter how sad about leaving the old, or unhappy about the new place I was. Their love was the foundation to the new life I had to build.
    I am sorry this was rough on him and he was hurting, But I believe your son will be okay… he has parents who love him so deeply he can feel it down to his bones. He, too, has a strong foundation.

  5. So nice to see you back. It must have been hard for all of you but good to see Kash smiling in these photos. I’ve often wondered how my Chloe would react to a move – maybe it’s an only child thing but I find her really attached to friends and relatives. Thanks for sharing your experience. We can get so caught up in pursuing the Dream that we can lose sight of the things that matter most. Wishing you guys many happy memories in your new home!

  6. I’m so glad you’re back! I can only imagine the turmoil it must have been to have your child’s life be turned upside down by the move. We moved across the neighbourhood two years ago – and seriously, it was a 15 minute drive – and my youngest STILL talks about how she misses the old house. Their little brains and bodies crave routine.

    It sounds like you guys have found a really great place to land in. You’re doing something that a lot of bloggers wouldn’t – slowing down. I have HUGE respect for you for doing that. I know that in my blogging ebbs and flows, I sometimes want to walk away from it all and just live my messy, crazy life without any expectations. I have a feeling if I did that, I’d eventually find my way back, just like you did.

    I’m excited to see what you guys do next, but I’m also really touched by your experience. You’ve said a lot of things that I’m sure many others have felt.

  7. Wow, this is so spot on! We just recently built a new house – maybe not our “dream house” given that we had to make lots of concessions, but still – and it’s been a lot tougher than I imagined it would be. I thought we’d be all smiles and happy to finally be in a bigger house, one that fits us better. But reality is that it’s been hard on us all. FInancially there’s still a lot of things to accomplish to make the house function better – storage stuff, mainly. But we left our comfortable neighborhood where my kids could walk to school. Now they have to ride the bus or get driven to school. We took our daughter further from her best friend, so she can no longer ride her bike to her house. Our new neighborhood is still under construction, so it doesn’t feel “homey” yet. I know all that will come with time, but it’s still a tough transition. Now if I could just get some sod in my yard finally then maybe I’ll feel a bit better about things šŸ™‚ THanks for sharing your story!!

  8. With the tough times and the beautiful times you guys are always AWESOME. The house looks great! Good work! You all look great! Ensure that you take time outs whenever you need them. They are a healthy thing, and no one should fault you for trying to stay healthy.

    Love you guys. Stay awesome.

  9. Amazing job Natasha. After looking at the images of what you and family have accomplished, I am sure the sacrifices were worth it. Congratulations and I can’t wait for the next venture

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